While that is a joke, the sad reality is that we are in a bit of a relegation scrap. I know that we do have a 13 point buffer from us in 15th and our opponents in 18th, but still, to think in this way and mention the R-word, is so deflating.
It's a true reflection of the current state of our club 😔.
Anyways, here goes with this relegation battle fixture. Let's hope United don't cock up because this one, this one would hurt more than most.
Predicted Lineup
Mazraoui was the only real concern after Saturday's draw with Everton as he was taken off in the 70th minute with what was a knee problem. Amorim said in his press conference that he expects the squad to remain the same as was for the trip to Goodison so I don't know whether this includes or excludes the Moroccan.
I don't think he'll make it and even if he is fit, we shouldn't risk him anyway. Despite all our injuries, we are well stacked in defense so Yoro comes in for him.
The only other change I've made is Garnacho for Casemiro. While the star boy was a game changer off the bench and many argue that he is better as that impact sub, I think I would rather have him start over Casemiro as the Brazilian doesn't fill me with much confidence.
Garnacho also makes things happen up top which is something we need even if he doesn't get as much of the ball as he would like. With an inferior opponent (at least on paper) I believe that Garnacho will be more in the game than in others.
Bruno will drop deeper and the two goal scorers from the last match will be paired once again.
This may leave us weak on the bench but if we're having to rely on substitutes in a game against Ipswich at Old Trafford, then we may as well get relegated.
Approach
We actually showed a bit of something in those final 20 minutes at Everton. That free-kick sparked something with United and had we had a few more minutes, I think we would've won.
However, this just indicated that at that point (after Bruno's goal), the players actually wanted it. They showed exactly what we wanted to see but it came too little too late. We need them to be showing this from the start of games because when we're on it, we're not a bad side. We may not be top 4 level but we're certainly not as bad as 15th.
At our best, we should be 14th 🤣.
The manager's tactics, system and formation don't really come into play because again, looking at some performances and I'm sorry to be mentioning this all the time, but the draw at Anfield, the win in the FA Cup against Arsenal and those final 20 minutes at Goodison Park, all displayed a side capable of playing as Amorim wants.
It was the same set of players, playing the same system, with the same tactics and yet for some reason, those games were our best under the Portuguese but the others, some of our worst.
I think it's because the players actually showed some fight and listened to the manager.
If we can do that most of the time, we'll be alright. If not, then we'll get what we've been getting and stay where we are.
It really depends on whether those players show up or not.
Form
United have won one of their last five whilst drawing one and losing the other three. We've also not won any of our last three in the league with Amorim avoiding an unwanted record in that draw last time out as defeat at Everton would've meant that he would've lost three games in a row (potentially without scoring) in the same season.
However, one terrible record the United boss does have is that in his 15 Premier League games in charge, he's gotten 15 points, a point a game.
That is a horrific record 😖.
That point against Moyes, while it was great because we didn't deserve it, made no difference in terms of the table because we stayed in 15th. Should we win and Everton drop points, United will move into 14th 👍. However, we can go one spot down if we don't win and West Ham do 😬.
We are 14th in the home table with five wins, one draw and seven losses in our 13 matches with a -5 goal difference and a total of 16 points. Only the bottom six in the home table have a worse GD.
Our last two home games have seen defeats to Brighton and Palace with the last victory coming against fellow strugglers Southampton although we deserved to lose. Thanks to a late Amad hat-trick though, we won 😄. We ain't got him to bail us out this time however 😐.
Ipswich
Thank God there are teams worse than us in this league because we would probably have been relegated.
So thank you Southampton, Leicester and tonight's opponents, Ipswich.
They're going to beat us now, aren't they 😐?
Former coach at United under Solskjaer and Mourinho Kieran McKenna has had to endure a tough time upon bringing Ipswich back to the Premier League as his side are one of the favorites to go straight back down.
When looking at their record, you wouldn't disagree with that.
They are 18th in the table after their 26 matches with just three wins all season. McKenna's team have also had eight draws and 15 defeats! With a goal difference of -30, it isn't surprising that that is one of the worst in the league as only Leicester and Southampton have a worse record.
With 54 conceded, it also means that that is one of the most conceded as again only Leicester, Southampton and Wolves have let in more.
Their recent form is the worst in the league as they have zero wins in their last five, the only team to achieve this unwanted feat. Even Southampton have a win in their last five which funnily enough, came against Ipswich!
What's more alarming than not winning in these last five is that McKenna has seen his team concede a staggering 17 goals! Two of those were 4-1 losses at the hands of Liverpool and Spurs in their last game but perhaps the most embarrassing of the lot was a 6-0 thumping at home to Man City.
How could they lose to them?
Even we beat City.
Ipswich deserve to go down for that.
That loss to Southampton also came at Portman Road and is probably the worst results of the season as the Saints are truly shite.
Ipswich are also 18th in the away table with just two wins (Wolves and Spurs), four draws and six defeats in their 12 matches giving them a total of 10 points. Only four teams have let in more than their 10 on the road as well.
Prediction
The last time we faced them was Ruben Amorim's first game for United. We actually started off so well as now loanee Marcus Rashford scored the first goal of the Amorim era within a couple of minutes. Crazy to think who scored that goal and all that's happened to him since.
After that strike in just 2 minutes, I think we all thought that we're going to win the league 🤣.
I'm not sure what to expect from us this time though. As we've been saying for weeks now, anything is possible. If we show up, we'll win and funnily enough, I think we will.
I believe United will give enough of a shit and with our quality, we'll just about get over the line. 2-1.
Will absolutely take that 👍.
Background player image: Bruno Fernandes celebrates goal against Everton | Image via Manchester United official X (@ManUtd)